Saturday, April 14, 2012

This is me, this moment in time...

Black hole, deep ocean waters, slowly pulling me in.
The waters freezing cold, but soon as the tide rises, I go numb.
Wanting for the wounds to heal and fighting for more blood
A struggle between spirit and flesh, who will become victorious?
Old scars I plainly see, and hide them from the world.
There's no vacancy in normal land.
I'm sitting in the cold, shivering as I write.
But still I take the pain, all that I deserve.
A breakthrough I have made, but in denial still.
Try to focus on tomorrow, happiness is a nightmare.
A tease people flaunt, or more skilled at hiding it than me.
Sing a song of sorrows, morbid pleasures found through pains.
Slowly tearing at my heart, vein by bloody vein.
Full is my chest, release I do desire.
Slit my throat to ease the pressure, of living in the valleys of despair.
Self destruction is the goal, self destruction is all I know.
Self destruction with no end, or none that I was told.

Friday, April 13, 2012

Pics from the Fun House

3 Poems

Forgotten 3.21.2012
Within pins and needles I've made my bed
To rest the thoughts that surround me
Because truth is a dagger that I must swallow
My reflection shows acid puddle within my eyes
This fortress I've built begins to crumble
Once it protected me from the pains of being forgotten
Yet, it's too much too soon too lost too disdain
Crimson puffs out my cheeks
As ocean water drops drip down my temples
And with a quiver my lips weaken
Release the dagger to relieve the pain
For being forgotten is a painful poison to swallow
Allow the acid to burn my face as the dams break
The swiftness of my hand proven
As shattered glass covers the floor
And pieces that are left
Show the brokenness of my heart

Danse Macabre 3.19.2012
Decorated in frail stitches and fading scars
Lucidity, tranquility, fluidity of peace
In search of uncovering the perfect stone
For somewhere someone has hidden the key

Leaping with the strength of a grand jete
Tumbling to inhale the the dirt and gravel
Scraped and tattered feigning contentment
A smile, a bow, a 6 foot plan and shovel

Just as quick as a rose will perish on stage
So does the serenity of the innocents
The weight of years of Confucius' confusions
Will warp the mind into nonsensical nonsense

Drowning in the vastness of salted waters
This tub filled to the brim by my own eyes
Crimson showers cleanse this future
But not everyone that bleeds will ultimately die

So a wish that has no ending
A prayer that has no words
Seeking solace in the numbness
All the while the world still turns

RIVER 3.10.2012
I try to walk with faith, but so much I hesistate
Knowing that You're near me, makes me feel safe
But my greatest enemy, is she who lies inside
Lying lies upon me, playing with my mind

And river runs dry and my eyes and head ache
White waters in my heart, focusing on mistakes
Peaceful calming ocean, but puddles are all I find
Living nightmares before me that I thought I left behind

Angels, I hear singing, in chorus to uplift me
But doubts shackle to my ankles won't let it be
So hear I kneel before Him, with my tears to sacrifice
But nothing I have to offer will ever suffice

For His mercy is unending, His grace a gift indeed
If I got what I deserved, how devastated would I be
Mountains moved I witnessed, yet I still cry
Your loving arms embrace me, until the river runs dry