Restless

I am not built for this stay at home mom business.  I am bored out of my mind.  It probably doesn't help that I have very little energy and each day is different from the previous as far as feeling sick or not.  It sucks not having a diagnosis and having all the symptoms.  I really need to find a neurologist.  February can't come soon enough because we seriously need to have all this insanity of not knowing where we will be living etc.  I feel guilty not being able to play with my kids the way I want.  I know everyone will say the same thing, I'm already doing so much for them, but that doesn't make me feel any better; sorry.  Ugh, sometimes I wish I could just make the weight disappear, but a big part of me is afraid that even if that happens, I will still be sick.  Today I couldn't move my legs again and my eyes keep going cross-eyed.  Its frustrating, but at least I'm done with taking boards.  I survived that much, if only the scores were as instantaneous as the practice exams.  Impatient isn't my middle name, it's my first and it kind of sucks.