Sunday, August 2, 2009

Doe, a Deer, a Female Deer - A DDK story

The drive home from a friend's house sometime holds better stories than the actual gathering. If you were underage and going to drink, two things were obvious. One, you would be better off going off campus. And, two, if you were a typical DDK you needed someone to drive you there and back.

Bill's was the home away from dorm, we all supplied money, and he supplied an apartment. The cherry on top of this delectable relationship, we all got complimented each other. I don't remember there ever being any reason for anyone to fight or argue. Guess that's why stoners and the like were capable of congregating in large packs.

Side note memory: Charlene had a wonderful trick that would indicate she had had her fill when at Bill's. Once she was at the peak of her drinking, she would not just start to sing, but she would fit herself underneath the coffee table. Yes, anyone can fit under a coffee table, but as memory recalls, this was low enough to be limbo dance worthy. And that's where'd you could find her. At Bill's, with her drink, singing, under the coffee table. I only wish there were pictures of this.

Back to the drive: it was nice that the apartments had a back road that connected straight to campus. How all of us packed into PR Chris's car still baffles me, but we did. One drive back is etched permanently in the memory center of my mind. And anytime I recall it, I about piss my pants laughing.

I was in the back seat, Chris was driving, Jess was shotgun. I won't mention who else was in the car, not because I don't care, but because alcohol over the years has taken its toll on my memory. There are woods that surrounded the campus, and it was quite picturesque. Jess was the first to spot a deer coming out of the trees. We, not she, were drunkenly excited to see a live woodland creature. A picture! A picture! Quickly, Jess takes her camera, sets her site on the target, moves in for the kill and BAM! She failed to realize her window in this two door car was not down.

Not only did she smack herself into the window, but remember she was poised for a nature shot. She banged her face with her own camera as well. Sitting directly behind her, I think I was the first to fully appreciate what she had done. And so I laughed, and laughed, and kept laughing. Until everyone in the car, including Jess, were diseased with laughter. Tears upon tears poured down our faces. We were suffocating with our own ridiculousness!

It's not until now that I know that it wasn't so much Jess's face getting planted with her own camera on the window that makes this so hilarious. Rather, the amount of time that we all spent together and the number of jackass things we did in front of each other - no one was ever embarrassed. No one ever hung their head in shame for doing something stupid. Give it a few moments, and someone else with us was likely to do something far more embarrassing anyway.

We tested the limits of our comfort zones. We never ridiculed for the sake of belittling. We ridiculed, yes, but NOT for the sake of belittling. Did we drink? Yes. Did we do it to be comfortable in our own skin? Never. If anything, it was done just to increase the probability of making fools of ourselves for our own entertainment.

Moral of the story: if you see a deer in the woods, make sure your windows down and perhaps there is such a think as contact drunk.

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