Thursday, December 29, 2011

A manic's rant.. posted in a support group but I decided to share the entertainment

How does one know their thoughts are racing if they were never slow? What is a normal speed for thoughts? Can we measure it like we do typing? I.guess we could, but we would somehow would have to go into.someones mind while they were thinking.. I have a million dollar idea! I was thinking of creating a detangler solution for hair for ppl who.are tender headed. My daughter has a horrible time when i.detangle her hair bc it hurts so badly on her scalp. I was thinking of taking up knitting for nights like this. Theres a knitting group at the starbucks near where i used to live. I wonder how many of them have bipolar disorder. I wonder how many artist choose to go undiagnosed for the sake of their art... I wonder if they know that u dont have to sacrifice ur artistic mind for the sake of stability. I hate that when i write on my phone instead of the spacebar i.hit th period.. See i.just did it! And again! Ugh.. The little things that bother me.. I.was thinking that one day i will play a trick on my kids whem they get olfer and cover te house in yarn. Not just thrown but actually tie it across the room like to different things! It would look like a mission impossible lazer covered room but w yarn! Lol they would probably have me hospitalized lmao

 No stealing my idea or at least share the profits.. Better yet we can donate it to mental health awareness projects or toys for tots!

a group member asked: what does it feel like when u have so many thoughts?

extremely fast.. like I cant slow down. like just going from my room to the kitchen and back i had about 3 different conversations w myself from here to there and as the hours past it kinda just goes faster but the words haven't merged yet so i'm still ok for the time being..its when the words start to turn to gibberish that i should b worried but that's when i have my thinking language and its fun.. my theory on that is that i have this gibberish that goes on in my head and I can feel what it means but can't translate it into any english language, or spanish for that matter.. but i think thats were some of the anger and rage and irritableness (<~~not a word according to google chrome spell check and apparently neither is "google" Google is tho.) well anyway.. i think that lack of being able to give themselves away to express themselves is why we get so irritable and angry and annoyed at everything so easily.. i think that's why we are so creative.. i mean look at the amount of artist that have bipolar disorder.. creativity is our outlet for us to take out all the thoughts that we are rushing through in our minds and can't translate always into words.. the times that i have put them into words I put them on my blog which u are welcome to go read anytime... its feel free to check it out .. it'll keep u busy if u bother to go through some of it.. i have a lot of post.. sorry I didnt answer ur question.. what it feels like to have so many thoughts at once.. its like a bowl of gulash.. its just a mixture of all these ingredients that to anyone who has never experienced it would look at it and go "eww" but to someone who has experienced it knows how great it can be, but only when made right..if u put the wrong ingredients or go overboard on some seasoning it'll be ruined.. in summary: racing thoughts or whatever u want to call them is like gulash

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