Decisions and Doors
Though my eyes were blurry reality was clear
No use in hiding my pain and anger
I inhaled deeply to suffocate my fear
Already hurting won't let salt be poured
My wounds at times still feel so fresh
Self inflicted and self procured
Those days were mere steps from death
Sunken and drowning into the typical ways
Smiling and laughing through the burning thoughts
Devising whether to move on or try again
And here you are again, my lies have been caught
Misunderstanding and over analysis
So is the story of most my tales
Others' lives I can reformat and make sense of
Attempts on my own and oh how it fails
The future is painted in fading colors
Such a picture that changes in any light
Somehow your face always blended right in
And memories of times past I can't lose sight
Memories of days and nights of endless hysteria
A friendship I built on lust and I was devoured
You're always there when I go searching
I await hopelessly like a wilting flower
Dear John is how it began, oh the depths I cried
And we talked you listened you smiled
Because nothing that i said to you made sense
Fooled by your benevolence and so I was defiled
Close my eyes wander off to that night
When you opened the door and left with her
He hugged me closer knowing my defeat
Never again will you be the source of my hurts
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